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| The Infinite Recognition by Rene Magritte |
This year is about experimenting and finding out what works for me and what doesn't. I learned very quickly that committing to report to you, my readers, on my practice really helped me stay on track. And this week I heard from a couple of people that my reports have helped them meditate regularly. That makes me happier than I can say!
I also learned this week that I prefer a self-guided meditation because I like the (relative) silence rather than listening to a voice. And I also found this week that I'm really starting to cherish the silence, which is a new development for me.
This week I did practice six days as I committed to but for the first time I skipped a day when I usually practice, Friday. That was because I went out of town for the day with friends and didn't make it home until dinner time. So I made up for the missed day by practicing on Saturday, the day I usually take off.
The reason I originally committed to six days instead of seven was because I knew that if I had a strict schedule with no days off it would make me feel a bit trapped, which might discourage me from practicing at all (I get a bit rebellious sometimes). Knowing I have a day off makes me feel more relaxed about the whole project.
But now I also know that it gives me a bit of leeway so if there's a day where practicing is going to be extremely challenging, I can always make it up on another day.
Here's my meditation diary for the week.
Sunday, February 17, 2019
Practiced Legs up the Wall with instructions to "be spacious." I found imagery of puffy white clouds in a blue sky like I'd seen during the day floating through my mind. I also thought of the Emily Dickinson poem:
THE BRAIN is wider than the sky,
For, put them side by side,
The one the other will include
With ease, and you beside.
I practiced my own form of Loving-Kindness, without a recording. This was the day I realized how much I was starting to love the silence. Is this a result of continued practiced? Or simply because I tried a guided meditation for a number of days and now have a contrast?
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Practiced my own form of Loving-Kindness again. I got very quiet. Although I have lots of thoughts flowing through my mind, I also find I can stay on track with the four phrases without my mind wandering so far off that I miss one.
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Practiced my own form of Loving-Kindess again. I got quiet very quickly this time! And I'm actually starting to like this experience. Haha, took long enough.
Thursday, February 21, 2019
Practiced my own form of Loving-Kindess again. I was in a warm room after lunch, and felt like maybe I got too quiet (I'm not quiet sure what is quiet and what is sleepy—seems like a fine line). I added some extra meditation time after the final chime went off. That extra time feels like a treat for some reason—a bonus or a dessert—because I know I don't have to do it. I'm weird sometimes.
Saturday, February 23, 2019
It was so nice to have this day as a makeup day. When I realized I needed to skip Friday (after I got home), I was so reassured I had a second chance the next day. Although I made it through the session, my breathing felt labored and uncomfortable. I don't really know why.
by Nina Zolotow
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