One-Sentence Story: Why Are Some People So Mean?


C'mon Baby Light My Fire by Luke Chueh

Once upon a time, long, long ago, all the people in the world were nice, absolutely, totally, exclusively nice, and there was nothing to be afraid of because nobody ever got angry at anybody else, much less killed one another, and nobody ever got hurt feelings or a broken heart, and every time anybody found a delicious piece of sweet fruit or some savory meat, they always split it evenly with everyone else who wanted some, and every night after their work was done and the sky had darkened and the stars had come out brightly, one by one, everyone would sit together around the warm, leaping fire, staring silently into the flames, calm, peaceful, drowsy, and completely, utterly bored, until one night a quick-witted and curious woman, whose name was Gossip, suddenly announced to her clan, “I heard something interesting today,” and when all the grownups quickly shook the sleep from their eyes and the children lifted their heads up from their parents’ laps and everybody stared at Gossip in wonder, Gossip told a story 

(a long tale about a boy from another clan who had wanted a girl who was already betrothed to another, but instead of just accepting the situation as a nice person would do, this boy had made up lies about the girl’s fiancĂ©, saying that he was two-timing her with another girl, and the girl he loved had of course believed his lies, never having been lied to before, and with hurt and jealousy flaming in her heart, had run off with the liar and become pregnant with his child, only to find out from the liar’s friend that her former love had really been true all along, but it was too late because she was now married to the liar, and it was only years later when her mean, lying husband was killed by a ferocious bear, that she was able to be reunited with her true love, who accepted the other man’s child as his own, and they lived happily ever after), 

and even though what Gossip had told them was completely untrue—she had invented it all in a desperate attempt to bring a little excitement into their lives—they all had so much fun that night listening to her story, crying at the sad parts, being scared at that scary parts, and laughing at the happy parts, that the next morning, a few members of the clan decided to try being mean just to see what would happen 

(two big boys stole some fruit from a smaller boy and left him crying in the dirt, a man cheated on his wife with her sister and his wife “accidentally” found out about it, one woman told another that a third woman was fat and ugly and would never find a husband, then the second woman told the third woman what the first had said, and one teenager shouted at her mother “leave me alone you fucking bitch!” and so on), 

and the following night there were even more stories to tell while sitting around the fire 

(or “gossip” as it soon became called, after the woman who invented it), 

and everybody enjoyed the gossiping so much that before you know it, all the once-nice people in the world had transformed themselves into villains and heroes, bullies and victims, slick liars and innocent dupes, abusers and their co-dependents, as well as flexible characters who could play whatever role was needed at the time, and the stories got longer and longer, and so full of conflict and drama that people had to invent writing just to keep track of it all, and soon there were libraries filled up with books, rooms and rooms of books, stacked high from floor to ceiling, most of which, like this story, oh Best Beloved, are attempting to answer the very question that you just asked me.

by Nina Zolotow

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