Meditation Project: Finding My Mantra

Spring by Rene Magritte

After practicing with one of the mantras that Jivana suggested for me, Om Shanti, I realized I like meditating with a simple mantra (as opposed to meditating on my breath). However, I am not totally comfortable with the "om" in that mantra. That's because my understanding of what that om meant changed when I read Edwin Bryant's book The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. In his explanation of yoga sutra 1.23 "Or, [this previously mentioned state is attainable] from devotion to the Lord," Bryant said about the Lord (Isvara):

"He makes himself available in the form of the repetition of the sound om, which should be recited, Patanjali seems to imply, in a devotional mood (since its meaning, which should be contemplated is Isvara, the subject of devotional surrender)."

Later he goes on to say, "Om, we shall see, specifically refers to Isvara."

Previously, I understood om to mean something like the "sound of the universe." However, I have been learning that many modern yoga teachers, consciously or unconsciously, tend to whitewash the Hinduism out of classic yoga to make it more accessible to non-Hindus. So as both a non-Hindu and an atheist, I'd don't feel completely comfortable reciting this sound now that I know its origins. But I had decided to go with this mantra until I came up with something better.

This week, while sitting, I did. I suddenly remembered—almost laughing to myself—how Richard Rosen (see Why We Say Namaste in Yoga Classes and Some Alternatives) recommended teachers should end a yoga class with "shanti, shanti, shanti" which he said "in English can be rendered as the “peace which passeth understanding.” And I spontaneously decided to make that my mantra for the foreseeable future. How long that will last before I end up experimenting with something else remains to be seen.

Now here's my meditation diary for the week:

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Practiced Legs Up the Wall pose for 20 minutes with the Om Shanti mantra. It was nice. Again, it's so much easier for me to lie down than sit and constantly adjust my posture (which tends toward slumping).

Monday, March 18, 2019

Practiced after my asana practice, and I was tired so I practiced Legs Up the Wall pose with Om Shanti again instead of sitting.  I became very quiet and went into that deep state. Is meditating after practicing asanas a more effective time?

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Practiced again after my asana practice but this time had the energy to sit. Practiced Om Shanti again. I felt a shift into the relaxation response around 7 or 8 minutes. Also decided to add on after the final chime went off with three rounds of Loving-Kindness meditation for "all beings." It takes just over a minute, and I really like including that as part of my practice.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Practiced again after my asana practice, which I intentionally kept shorter than usual. After 10 minutes of Legs Up the Wall, I practiced seated meditation for 15 minutes with Om Shanti and the added Loving-Kindness closing. 

Boy, I sure do a lot of planning for the near future when I sit. I guess that's no surprise for an anxiety-oriented person (or a former anxiety-oriented person?).

Thursday, March 21, 2019

This is the day it came to me while I was sitting that I should practice Shanti, Shanti, Shanti instead of Om Shanti. 

This time I practiced before taking a walk or doing an asana practice, and it seemed like my mind was busier than usual. However, time seemed to pass more quickly when my mind was extra busy with thoughts. Interesting.

Friday, March 22, 2019

Well, that was hard. As I started to sit down to meditate (with Shanti, Shanti, Shanti), I realized that I had sent an email to someone that had information that might really upset them and that I should call her and talk with her about it just in case to make sure she was okay. I knew 15 minutes wouldn't make a big difference, however, so I proceeded with the meditation. That's part of the process, right?

Naturally my thoughts were racing, although I brought them back again and again to my mantra and my breath. But there was plenty of time for all those thoughts and worries to keep bubbling up. I wondered which available microseconds of space they were fitting into. (I did make my phone call afterward and my friend thanked me for it.)