Holding a Marble

Masculine Wave by Katsushika Hokusai

If the earth were small enough to hold in my hand, it would be smoother than a marble, and all its harsh and jagged terrain—the mountains, the canyons, the deserts, and the rocky coastlines where the sea smashes against stone and sprays up into the sky, over and over again—would be imperceptible to my naked eye, and all the things that people on the earth do to each other, and what he did me (he was my friend—we’d been close since we were five years old—so for my 21st birthday, I asked him to be my designated driver—naturally I was planning on getting completely wasted—but when he drove me home instead of just dropping me off by the front door, he came into my apartment with me and that’s when he forced me down and raped me) would be nothing but a swirl of color—blue and white and brown and green—and all I would feel is an icy south pole balancing on my palm.

by Nina Zolotow


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