Prince Albert and Princess Charlene of Monaco by Romero Britto |
Once upon a time there lived a princess so beautiful that all who saw her could not but love her, and when the time came for her to be married, her father, the king, a man as generous as he was wise, allowed her to choose her own husband from amongst her hundreds of suitors, and selecting a handsome and good-hearted prince from a neighboring estate, a man she truly loved, she was soon married amid great pomp and splendor, moved to her husband’s magnificent ancestral palace, and bore him many children, both sons and daughters; but that was not the end because, even though the princess had a few more exciting years—
at one wild party, she found herself handcuffed to a rock musician she had always admired who whispered that he had always found her irresistible and asked if she wanted to, you know, make out or something—
she was, just like you and me, mortal, and furthermore, she did not have SPF sunblock, Retin A, alphahydroxy products, Botox, plastic surgery, or even hair dye, so the natural aging process proceeded to ravage her exquisite face and form unrelentingly, and with the birth of each successive child she put on weight, not to mention stretch marks, so eventually all that was left to her were the following four options: cronehood, post-menopausal zest (yeah, right), beauty in the eye of the beholder, or invisibility—
you tell me which one is the happily ever after.
by Nina Zolotow
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